Saturday, March 31, 2012


New discoveries worth mentioning: I absolutely HATE medical-surgical nursing, The Amazing Dr. G is moving away, and my therapist is probably the most awesome fucking feminist in my area.

I don't have much to say about school. Just that December can't get here fast enough. When I embarked on this nursing school journey, I was easily pulling As in accelerated core classes. Now that I'm in the midst of all things nursing, I find myself rejoicing over anything above a 75%. It's hard, because I may not be a genius, but I am *not* stupid by any means. My test grades don't always reflect that.

Dr. G is moving close to her hometown, which happens to far away from me. I was sad for a few days, then I remembered that this time next year, I could potentially be in a completely different state and I see her once a year... So, fuck... Cut your losses.

My therapist (gotta think of a name for that fantastic bitch) is outraged about the whole "women can't get birth control" thing and how a man in our area got a penile implant and it was covered by insurance. Her advice was to "get him a strap-on and let him play with that shit." If I were thin, blond, and white, she could totally be my mom, because we have pretty much everything in common. She is so fucking intelligent.

Feminism has newly piqued my interest. I consider myself a feminist. Honestly, I didn't even know what a feminist was. Well, I did know, but I didn't think my understanding matched the actual definition. Turns out, it's... pretty simple: Equality. Awesome. I am with all that shit.

I bought the book "Full Frontal Feminism" by Jessica Valenti in an effort to... Fuck, I don't know what my reason was for ordering this damn book. I don't have time to read it unless I'm on the toilet and it's not related to anything I should be studying. I guess I bought it because... I'm curious. I just wanted to learn and understand anything that she could offer me on the topic of feminism.

I'm only a few pages in and I have mixed feelings. I find myself rolling my eyes and sighing at the overall "homegirl attitude" of the book. I feel like she's trying too hard to be relatable and appealing. Then again, I can't imagine finding this book worth reading if it was full of black and white feminist history with no personal experiences or opinions. I read it in spurts and I don't find myself eagerly anticipating the next page turn. I guess I don't really like it, but I'll definitely finish it and add it to my personal library, since I paid for it.

I think there are so many types of feminists, which is why the reputations range from "angry and insufferable bitches" to "whiny sluts who need to shut the fuck up." I think that's why I was so apprehensive to identify myself as one. I fucking hate labels. I hate the stigma that comes along with identifying myself as anything...

I don't identify as bisexual. I love people, not women or men. Of course, I have my preference as everyone else does, but every person I encounter can potentially be a partner for me, because I don't identify people by what is between their legs. I care more about that wonderfully wrinkled hunk of matter between your ears.

I didn't want to identify as a feminist because sometimes I feel that some feminists border on female supremacy over gender equality. I don't like that. I don't think I'm better than anyone. Wait, lie. I do think I'm better than some people, but it's not because I have ovaries and a vagina. Whenever I identify as something, I wish people would respond with "Well, what does that mean for you?" because their understanding if what I am may not parallel with the actuality of what I am.

I guess this circles back to the whole "labels and definition" debate. Don't put me in a box. Don't try to understand. Just let me be the person who defines who I am.


  1. You're so awesome. I agree 100% with all of this.

    I don't identify as bisexual either, although I admit I use the term sometimes because it's easier than trying to explain what it is I actually am. It doesn't quite cover it but it stops awkward conversations dead.

    Feminism is... tricky, I think. Because you have the sane, rational ones who are just asking for a level playing field and then you have the extremists who hate anything to do with men and then you have the ones who just want an excuse to sleep around (if that works for you, fine, but don't hide it behind politics, you know?). I feel like all the louder voices hide the actual message and, well, make the rest of us look bad, to be honest.

    It's good to see you writing again. December will be here before you know it. Just hang on. <3

  2. You don't have to identify as feminist! Honestly as someone who does identify as a feminist, I can already tell you that although feminism is amazing, there are an awful lot of feminists who are transphobic, classcist, and racist... or just downright ignorant.

    It's an amazing thing and I follow a few feminist blogs that have taught me a lot of things that I think you would love.

    FYI: Even though you're just now being into feminism, I've always had your blog saved in a folder labeled Feminism..I think your positive view on sexuality is very feminist.

    Also, I don't think you should worry about labeling yourself as bi. Gender and sexuality are so fluid, who needs the labels, right?